Too Poor to be Green
Too Poor to be Green is a blog dedicated to everyone that that cannot afford to buy a Prius, install solar panels, convert your car to cooking oil, buy those reuseable bags in the store, pass by the organic food for spaghettios, etc. It is a funny/bitter look at the green movement.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
My Prayers Have Been Answered
Stuff like: Free solar cells for you house, (that is, if you live in certain areas and meet very specific requirements, and you are picked) There is another about the rebate for new appliances that expired, and many others that everyone has heard about that usually cost more than you get back
I figure it is costing him about a buck each to send these out, so hes makes a buck on each one.
Here is my Green Millionaire tip for you:
1. Buy a copy of this book.
2. Take the few tired things hes has in it about water heater blankets and not using you air conditioner, and write them down, bulleting each one
3. Write a page of PURE BULLSHIT under each bullet point. Save it to a Word doc.
4. Market it through spam to every email address you can find.
5. Charge $10.00, but FREE shipping and handling.
6. Whenever someone sends you cash, email the Word doc to them.
7. Profit!
That my friends, was truly free info, unless you wanna just give me money. (like that guy)
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Disposable Diapers Help Save the Planet
Take my youngest for example. She can load up a Huggies till it’s pert near dragging on the ground without asking for a change. It’s amazing how they can keep a kid comfortable even when they are carrying 5 pounds of urine-soaked plastic on their ass.
Speaking of loads, Wikipedia says that kids are changed, on average, about 10 times a day. Really? When you have ten bucks till payday, and you have two diapers left, you can make those things hold 3, 5gallons or more. Sure you gotta change the poopie ones ASAP or your cleaning the floor, walls, couch, dog as well, but when it comes to number 1, disposables are, um, number 1.
There is a limit, as any father watching the kids during football season knows. Eventually, even the best disposables will fall apart. We in the kid biz call this a “blow out”. THEN there’s a problem. The plastic pellets spill out all over, and they are damn near impossible to clean up. The answer is the vacuum cleaner, but then there is that whole “why does the vacuum smell like pee” thing you have to deny.
Now you are asking yourself, “So where does saving the environment fit into all of this?” One word: Earthies
I can’t find the video for Earthies, but here are chewable pampers:
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Quick Link Wednesday
There was a solar eclipse yesterday.
I thought these pics of camouflage were pretty cool.
A running robot. Kinda freaky. It's only a matter of time before Skynet goes online.
The ultimate in recycling. A Soylent Pencil
We Chose the Moon is a cool interactive site about the Apollo moon landings.
Do you know how to play petals around the rose? Don't reveal the secret if you figure it out.
More soon...
Monday, July 20, 2009
Too Poor to be Organic
I did a bit of grocery shopping the other day, and was amazed at what people are willing to spend on organic food products. I decided to do a price comparison of the food that makes up about 99% of my kids’ daily intake to calories: Macaroni and cheese.
Next boil the water and dump in the pasta. First we have the classic Kraft Mac and cheese at .92 cents a box. The other is Annie’s organic white cheddar at….$2.39!!! Holy Crap! I could get two tacos and a chili cheese burrito for that!
Once the pasta is cooked, (about 10 minutes. Two minutes if you are a college student) mix in the milk. Your basic, run-of-the-mill, hormone-laden, store brand milk of doom is $2.19, or 3 and a half cents for a ¼ cup of milk. The organic stuff in the pretty labeled carton is $7.98 a gallon! That’s about 12 and a half cents.
Add ¼ cup of butter. Evil Corporate death butter runs $2.98 a pound, or 37 cents for what we need. The butter made from milk that came from cows that live in a spa in Cancun and were asked politely to lactate costs…..$7.49!! That’s about 94 cents for what we need.
Mix thoroughly and serve. Now for the judging, by three kids ages 9,5, and 2.
Round 1, the taste test:
9 year old on Kraft M&C: “Yummy”
5 year old on Kraft M&C: “Om NOM NOM NOM!”
2 year old on Kraft M&C: “ima princess. I want more”
9 year old on organic M&C “EWWW! Why does it look like that!”
5 year old on organic M&C: “This tastes like poop”
2 year old on organic M&C: “WAAAAAAAH”
Round two: Nutrition:
Organic: No chemicals, dyes, pesticides, hormones, etc, entered our kids. Neither did any organic M&C.
Kraft: does not prevent scurvy, but keeps the kids alive.
Round three: Cost:
Kraft M&C: $0.92
Milk: $0.04 (rounded up)
Butter: $0.37
Total: $1.33, or about $0.44 per serving
Organic: $2.39
Milk: $0.13 (rounded up)
Butter: $0.94
Total: $3.46, or about $1.15 per serving!
Wow, nearly three times the cost of Kraft
Here’s a quick summary:
Taking a totally non-scientific guess by saying that the average kids eats this crap 5 times a week, the annual costs to a family with 3 kids amounts to $345.80 a year, while the organic would be $897.00 a year. Keep in mind that if you could afford the organic stuff, your kids won’t eat it anyway.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Don't flick your butts, dude.
- Cut up your six pack rings so animals don't get caught in them
- Don't eat tuna because they kill dolphins in the process
- Don't eat at taco bell because they use South American beef, which destroys the rainforest
- Only buy CD's in paper packaging
But the thing that bugged me the most was that he threw his cigarette butts wherever the hell he wanted. This hypocrisy was justified, in his mind, because he smoked Camels, and Camels he said, "had a biodegradable filter made of cotton."
I never really gave a crap enough to actually call him out on this. It was only years later that I found out that they are made from plastic.
I had a pack of Camel filters sitting on a table next to an open bottle of nail polish remover. The bottle got spilled on my smokes, and the filters dissolved into a disgusting goo. Cotton filters wouldn't do that.
Camel Filters are made of plastic! Take THAT you stinkin' hippie!
I think he lives here now.
Recycling, unless you are making money from it, not worth it
This video drops some F-bombs, so put your earphones on.
In fact, I think that we should put all non-hazardous waste in landfills. If in, say 200 years we have no oil left, we can harvest these landfills and get resources from them.
Off the subject, check out this big assed cow.
Also, check out this game where you try to fit the 50 states together like a puzzle. Try beating my average error of 38 miles.
I wonder if the happy squid tastes good